


Warmth

by Eye_of_the_Dragon



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angel Wings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Alec, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Alec Lightwood, M/M, Temporary Character Death, Wingfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-08-09 01:35:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7781785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eye_of_the_Dragon/pseuds/Eye_of_the_Dragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec never thought dying would be so, warm. He'd always imagined a sort of cold emptiness, of course, he tried not to think about it too often.</p><p> </p><p>     Alec is worth so much more than he realizes, more important than anyone realizes. Or, a shameless fic where Alec is a god.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I have only read the first book and a half, so all of this is from the show and my own imagination. Please enjoy, this is my first fic in quite a few years, so be gentle with criticism.

     Alec never thought dying would be so, warm. He'd always imagined a sort of cold emptiness, of course, he tried not to think about it too often. He could hear a distant shouting, someone calling his name, saying something.  
     It was strange, in this moment Alec couldn’t bring himself to care about much of anything, except, there was something nagging at the back of his mind. It was getting increasingly harder to focus on what was happening around him, he wondered how long it would take him to die. Or would they save him? He doubted it. Everything was far too hazy to be brought back from, it was sort of peaceful in a way.  
    “Alec, man, stay awake. Come on buddy!” Jace was frantically trying to hold the gaping wound on his Parabatai’s chest closed, shaking hands getting coated more and more in blood every second. He could hear Alec’s breath slowing down and getting more erratic, blood covering his bottom lip with each pitiful cough.  
     He recognized when Isabelle skidded down beside him, a string of no,no,no falling out of her mouth as matching tears fell down her face. “Alec, please.” Her voice was much softer than Jace’s, a plea rather than a command, she was begging him to be okay.  
     Then, all at once in a fury of blue Magnus was pushing his way through, the battle was won, the enemy was gone and the shadowhunters were now left alone in a room of warlocks, and a dying brother.  
    “Move!” Magnus’ voice held an authority that neither Lightwood, or Wayland could argue moving out of the way quickly, Jace still covering Alec’s chest and Isabelle moving her hand to run through her brother’s hair. “We need to get him back to my loft, quick!” It was weird, that someone could be in control enough to move the situation forward, but they did as they were told. Jace leaning down to scoop up his best friend, his brother, and Magnus made a portal.  
    It happened quickly, suddenly they were at Magnus’ loft setting Alec on the couch and rushing to get anything to help Magnus, they were filled with a sort of hope that they could save him.  
     This hope was soon crushed, when they heard a long soft exhale leaving Alec’s lips, it was if everything after that happened in slow motion. They all turned to watch as all the muscles in his body seemed to relax all at once, and then, with wide unblinking eyes his chest stopped moving.  
     Then, Jace was the next to fall, his hand clutching his Parabatai rune, a heart wrenching sob left him as he sunk to the ground, forehead resting on the floor and a log cry of agony as his other half is ripped from this world far too soon. “Alec!” His voice was weak and broken as he sobbed, whole body shaking violently.  
     Isabelle was soon to follow, in a much quieter more disbelieving way her mouth and eyes fell open as she rushed to her big brother, hands gripping his shirt as she shook, “No, no, no!” She cried, gripping him tight, shaking him once more before collapsing onto his unmoving body.  
     Magnus watched the scene unfold, a perfectly manicured hand held infront of his mouth in shock, he knew he would lose his Alexander, but not so soon. Not like this, he hadn’t had time to save him, and that felt like the biggest kick to the stomach. “Oh dear.” His voice was small and couldn’t be heard over the wailing of the shadowhunters. He of course felt this was his fault, but deep down, he knew it truly wasn’t. Alec would have saved the warlock girl even if Magnus hadn’t asked for their help, he was selfless and that’s what he did. He saved people. Alexander, his hero.  
    All of them in their despair had failed to notice another presence in the room. Almost like it had slipped out of the shadows and was waiting for the right moment. Then, almost like a whisper, or a faint echo a voice floated through the halls. At first everybody missed it, it was faint and hardly there. But as it got louder it seemed to nag at the back of everyone’s minds, they slowly all looked around in confusion, they couldn’t figure out where the voice was coming from or what it was saying.  
     With strained ears and angelic runes it seemed once they had all focused on it, the voice was crystal clear and sharp. “Alexander Lightwood is not dead.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is a little bit better than the last chapter! Thank you for everyone who commented!:*

Feathers are the first things Alec sees, light and fluffy floating down around him. He’s standing in a meadow, where long grass brushes against his leg, and soft yellow flowers fill the air with a sweet calm scent. Looking around curiously he takes in the scenery, the way there’s not a single cloud in the sky, the way that the feathers are falling, forming a perfect circle. 

Alec reaches out his hand, catching a long and elegant golden feather in his fingers, it’s  smooth and silky, like the most expensive of fabrics. He brings it closer to his face to study it, up close he can see it is not solid gold, but actually almost white at the base, softly getting brighter until it reaches the tip where it’s solid black. 

Eyes cast upward, trying to find the source of the feathers finding nothing, they seem to be raining from the sky.

Eventually restless legs decide it’s time to investigate the surroundings, Alec moves slowly and carefully, not sure if he should breach the feathered circle he’s hesitant in lifting his foot. As his foot crosses the line it’s like he’s being shot from a portal, the surroundings change to that of a dark room, there are figures all around him, he doesn’t get a chance to name them before he’s reeling his leg back in shock. The image leaves as quickly as his leg is back in the circle, leaving him back in the meadow.

The shock, however, doesn’t leave with the room. Alec can feel his heart racing and hands shaking, but even with all that fear he feels drawn to the room, something about it, pulling him. He feels like he should try to leave again, he wants to, so he does.

It’s slower this time, anticipating the change when his foot breaches the wall, it’s exciting, when the meadow flickers and then he’s back in the room. This time, he stays, looking around he can name the people.

Magnus is standing alert with his head whipping back in forth in confusion as his eyes sweep the room, looking, for something. 

The one, knealing on the floor not far from him, is Jace, his back is hunched but his head is raised, he’s staring forward, at Alec. “Jace? What’s going on?” He calls out taking another step before he’s pitched again, and suddenly, he’s lying flat on the floor, his body aches and a breath rushes back into him all at once, as he lifts himself onto his elbow to let out a loud cough. The room is silent, he looks over at Jace who’s eyes are wider than before, a slow grin breaking out on his face as he scrambles over, not even bothering to stand up as he grips Alec tight and pulls him into a tight embrace, scooping him into his own lap. 

In Jace’s lap, Alec can see Isabelle, a few feet away standing, her mouth open in shock as silent tears stream down her face. She’s the first to break the silence, with a loud hoarse cry, “Alec!” She runs forward dropping to her knees to join in on holding him, he stares in confusion. 

Magnus is the last to come over, “Alexander, oh angel, you’re alive.” His voice is weak as he sits down beside Jace, not moving to join the hug but simply holding out a hand, Alec takes it slowly and stares at his face. 

“What happened?” His voice is croaky when he asks, it sounds like he hasn’t used it in hours, but perhaps he hasn’t, he has no idea how long he was in that meadow for.

“Alec, you died, do you not remember?” Jace asks from above Alec, moving his face so he can look more at his Parabatai head on, eyes shining with unshed tears and lip wobbling. 

“Uh,” Alec lets out another loud, wet cough, “No, I mean, I was just, I was, somewhere? I can’t remember?” His voice gets quieter as he realizes he no longer remembers where he just was, and then, like a switch being flicked all the memories of the fight and him dying come back to him in a wave, his sight darkens briefly and his muscles stiffen, in that moment he’s also reminded of a sharp ache in his chest, his whole body lunges forwards as he lets out a loud groan. “Ah! Nevermind, I remember.” His voice comes out as less than a whisper his eyes filling with tears with the pain.

Then, Magnus’ hand tightens on his own and like that the pain is lessened to nothing more than a dull pain, nothing more than when he overworks himself while working out with Jace, or Izzy. “Sh, darling, it’s okay. Take your time.” His voice lacked it’s usual flair and instead was calm and comforting, a tone that felt like a warm hug, something he wanted to be wrapped up in. He looks over at Magnus as his face falls into confusion, he removes his hand slowly from Alec’s, eyes glancing at his lover's chest, “What, in the world?” His comforting tone gone, replaced with shock and confusion as the hand that was previously holding Alec’s own reaches forward and pulls up Alec’s shirt, where the wound should be there’s nothing, except a small golden swirl, elegant and soft it looks like it’s reaching upwards, two lines off of it up towards Alec’s shoulders. 

Isabelle’s slow tentative fingers reach out and touch the golden spiral, which, against logic seems to be made out of actual gold. It feels like skin but looks shiny and metallic like any gold ring or necklace. “Alec?” Her voice is soft as she slowly looks up at him, their eyes meet.

When Alec breaks the eye contact to look back down at his chest he’s reminded of something, what he’s not sure, but it feels like he should know something, like he should remember more than he does. 

He looks at Magnus, hoping he’ll have the answers, when he sees something out of the corner of his eye, it looks like a person, but nobody else seems to have noticed. As he stares at the stranger the gold on his chest tingles, it grows warmer the longer he stares at the figure. There was something strange about this thing, something, powerful and silent. Alec’s breath seems to get caught in his throat, “Guys..” It’s a whisper, barely audible, they don’t hear him. It’s like his voice was stolen by the figure, it vanishes, like it was never there. Just one more thing, Alec forgets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Any theories? Opinions? Do you think it's better than the last? Worse? What did you love about this chapter? What did you hate? What do you want to see more of? What do you think is being portrayed well? Just so I can keep improving! Thank you so much!<3


	3. Chapter 3

After everyone had finally calmed down, the shock of Alec,  _ dying  _ and coming back hadn’t worn off exactly, but had been placed on the back burners while they tried to get him up and back on the couch. Magnus rushing around to look through spell books, for something, anything about how on earth Alec died and came back, just like that. With seemingly no difference except the small gold swirl. 

Isabelle was busy making tea, and getting out food from Magnus’ damn near empty cupboards, finally returning with four steaming hot mugs of tea and a box of stale crackers. “I know, this will probably taste horrible, but it looks like you haven’t eaten in days. So, just give it a try, yeah?” Her voice was soft and still full of fear as she placed the crackers in her big brothers lap, she tried to smile, for his benefit, not that he seemed to be noticing much of anything. 

Jace was sitting still as Alec, directly across from his parabatai, hands in hands and eyes locked. Although Jace was trying to communicate something with his eyes, Alec’s stare was blank a flittering as he blinked rapidly in and out of focus. Every time he seemed to zone out Jace would grip his hands a little tighter, grounding him just that bit more. 

It was hard for Alec to respond to anything, he was vaguely aware of Isabelle talking to him, Jace holding his hands, and Magnus running around like a very composed mad man. But his mind kept floating back, to something. He couldn’t remember, for some reason. He was so close, but Jace kept bringing him back, he was so close to remembering when Isabelle thrust crackers in his lap, he was even closer when the sound of Magnus tossing a book on the floor startled him out of his haze. Which is when he finally snapped, “Shut up!” His voice is loud and gravelly from lack of use his eyes are covered in a thin layer of water as his eyes unfocus once more, and he stares off blankly not blinking.

“Feathers.” It’s nothing more than a whisper, but after his shout and startling display of zoning out, it seems as loud as a bomb going off. But Alec, he still isn’t back, he’s not aware he’s spoken, but instead staring at a golden feather, so similar to something he can’t place. It’s so, comforting, it’s like when Isabelle and Jace would take care of him if he got hurt in a fight, it was like coming over to Magnus’ after a fight with his mother. It was good. It was a pure feeling, Alec never wanted to let it go. 

The illusion when someone spoke, “What?”  It was as soft as Alec’s but it still brought him slamming back into his body, suddenly aware of his surroundings once again. 

He cocks his head to the side and stares straight at Magnus, eye’s wide with wonder when he asks, “Have you ever seen gold feathers?” 

It was such a strange question, Magnus had seen many birds in his life, lots with feathers, that when the sun hit them right, they seemed almost golden, but when Magnus relayed this Alec just shook his head. 

“No, no, gold like, like this.” He worked his hand free from Jace’s and brought it up to his chest, where the gold mark sat,”That’s all I remember about where I was before. Something to do with golden feathers. Or a golden feather? I’m not sure how many.” He’s still talking in whispers, anything louder feels like shouting at this moment, and nobody really wants to do that.

With everyone around him he felt the anxiety of not being able to remember slowly ebb away and he felt himself slowly relaxing into the seat and sinking back, offering everyone else one of the delicious crackers and even found himself laughing at their jokes. 

The night almost seemed normal, except every time Alec looked somewhere for more than a few seconds and zoned out he’d see the figure, never fully remembering what he’d just seen, only remembering that he’d forgotten.  _ Again.  _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy! I know this is pretty late and kinda short, but this is all I could get into for this chapter! I hope you think I'm getting better? And I definitely hope you're enjoying reading this! Please, comment and maybe share your favourite/least favourite parts? Give me some constructive criticism? Let me know what I could improve on? What do you think is going to happen next????!?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, So updates will not be frequent as I am going back to school and I do have a part time job and social life. So, I will update this when I can, I'm very sorry there might be a week or two between updates. Bur I do hope you enjoy this little chapter<3

It was the shrill ringing of his phone that finally awoke all the occupants of the room, looking around Alec noted that everyone must’ve fallen asleep sometime late last night, the crackers had fallen and were strewn across the floor.

Isabelle was to his left just blinking awake to glance around in confusion. Her hair a rumpled mess and her mascara now half way down her face. Her lipstick had almost completely worn off, as well as smudged on the shoulder of Alec’s shirt. 

Jace was on the floor in front of them, head lifted and eyes crusty with sleep, his shirt tucked up exposing his pale stomach and his pants twisted awkwardly, a sweater haphazardly thrown under his head as his pillow. 

Magnus was to his right curled against the armrest of the couch and not touching Alec at all, his makeup, unlike Isabelle’s, was still perfect and clean. His hair laid flat against his face and his blouse now so full of wrinkles it’d need to be ironed before he wore it again.

When Alec finally reached into his pocket to answer his phone everyone had turned to stare at him. “Hello?” His voice was croaky with sleep and his eyes barely open, not even registering who was calling.  

“Alexander Lightwood, where in gods name are you?” Maryse snapped angrily through the phone, her voice sharp and cold, enough to get Alec off of the couch quickly and gathering up his things. 

“Uh, right well, you see I was, well. We,-” Alec tried to stumble through the conversation being cut off when Maryse made a snort. 

“Just get home Alec, we’ll talk when you get home. You had better bring Isabelle and Jace with you too.” The line went dead at the end of the last word, a silence now hanging in the air as he looked back at his siblings still in their original positions. 

“Uh, that was mom, she wants us home.” His voice was small and fragile, like usual after a conversation with Maryse.

“Alec, you almost died yesterday. You can’t go home like nothing happened!” Isabelle yelled while standing quickly, “You have to tell mother what happened! She can’t send you out on any missions right now.” 

“I did die Izzy! I can’t just tell her that I died and came back, but we have no idea why. All we have is this, this thing!” Alec shouted back while gesturing to his chest where the mark was hidden. 

“He’s right Isabelle, perhaps we should focus on fixing this ourselves for now, we will get to the bottom of this, but you know what your mother is like. I do not think telling her would be wise.” Magnus had finally uncurled from the couch and approached the siblings, gentle and cautious not wanting to offend them by insulting their mother. 

“What if he gets more hurt?” Her voice had tapered off and was now coated in concern. 

“We’ll keep him safe Iz.” Jace whispered standing slowly and throwing on his sweater. 

Isabelle let out a long sigh and nodded in agreement, turning she walked out of the apartment without saying another word, too angry and worried at the moment for pleasantries 

 

When they got back to the institute they were greeted by a teary eyed Clary who ran up to them and punched Jace on the arm. “Where the hell have you been!” She whisper-yelled as she moved back, “You guys go off on a mission, disappear for a day and a half, and nobody thinks to call?” 

“Clary, we’re sorry, but we don’t really have the time for this right now.” Jace says taking her shoulder and pulling her in for a tight hug, “It won’t happen again.” His voice is deep and gravelly as he squeezes her. 

Their reunion is cut short when the unmistakable sound of Maryse’s heels come clicking into the room, a silence falls over everyone quickly as they all look up to face the trouble they’re about to get in. 

“Well, how nice of you all to finally join us.” Maryse’s voice is cold and clipped as she speaks, face straight and eyes light with anger. “Alexander, I thought you might be a little more responsible than this.” Her eyes flick up and down his body in disgust, “Out galavanting all night when there is work to be done. Don’t let this happen again.” She leaves no room for argument as she turns on her heel and leaves as quickly as she appeared leaving everyone a little angry and ashamed. 

“She’s right you guys, next time, someone needs to call her.” Alec’s voice is quiet and full hurt as he looks at his siblings and Clary, who is still clinging to Jace’s arm rather tightly. He can see as sparks of anger flare up in his sister’s eyes, knowing what she’s going to say he holds up a hand to silence her and walks away. 

As Alec walks he can feel a warmth at the center of his chest slowly growing outwards, placing a hand on the warmth he takes a deep breath and attempts to ignore it. It works, for all of two minutes, when he’s safely inside his room and the warmth grows to a burn searing into his flesh. Dropping to his knees he lets out a cry in surprise hiking up his shirt quickly to inspect his chest, the mark seems to have grown. I the gold swirls now reach up and touch the top of his shoulders, still nothing more than an inch and a half thick. Decorated with beautiful swirls and leaves, and the same strange gold colour as before. 

When the pain stops Alec feels like he can fully appreciate the beauty and mysteriousness of the mark, filling his stomach with a feeling he can’t quite identify at first. It’s safe, but also gentle, it’s loving and adoration. It’s comfort and quiet, it feels peaceful and kind. It feels like longing, longing for a home he can’t remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also! Yes, they are fairly short chapters, but like i've stated before, I am just now getting over serious writers block and am updating where I can, my writing still is great but I'm really proud of myself for trying. Thanks! <3


	5. 5

Alec spends the next day running around after his mother, doing everything and anything she asks, trying to makeup for the mistake of the day before. His body feels weak and lacking, like it no longer wants to participate, making it hard to train and help the younger Shadowhunters. “You, my darling, look like you could use a nap.” Magnus says, seeming to appear out of nowhere in the middle of the library where Alec  had been hiding for the last hour. 

“I got  a new mark last night. Or, well, the addition to the old mark, and for some reason I’ve been tired all day.” Alec says rubbing his chest where the initial swirl lies, “I don’t know if it’s related, but it has to be, right?” Alec feels slightly hysterical, only yesterday he was dead, and today he feels like his body hadn’t gotten the memo that he decided not to die after all. 

“Have you been feeling any pain?” Magnus moved closer and reached forward to Alec’s shirt, hands lightly skimming the fabric, not pressing hard enough to touch his body. 

“No, just the usual aches and pains that come with being too tired.” Alec said with a heavy voice and slumped shoulders, arms coming forwards to cover his chest like a barrier, protecting himself from the world. 

Magnus notices the involuntary and self conscious act for what it is, not an attempt to push him away, merely an insecurity of his own vulnerability. Taking a half step back Magnus moves to speak, when the door  bursts open with a frantic Lydia. 

“Alec! We have forsakens downtown, we need to move quick before they hurt anymore civilians!” Her voice is a practiced calm, stance rigid with authority and power, demanding respect of anyone who sees her. Without thinking Alec moves towards the door, stopping only to squeeze the hand that was raised at his chest and press a light kiss to Magnus’ forehead.

“I have to go, I’ll be by later tonight.” 

“Darling perhaps you shouldn’t-” Magnus words are cut off by the slamming of the library doors, encasing him in silence, his concerns hanging heavily in the air. With a sigh Magnus moves towards the door to follow behind his dumb Shadowhunter to assure his safety. 

He finds the Lightwoods and crew gathered in the front room of the institute geared up and ready to head out. Nobody raising an eyebrow when he grips Alec’s elbow and throws up a portal in front of the group.  

When they reach their destination they’re all shocked at the number of forsaken; at least twenty moving through the dark streets and breaking everything in their path. Alec is the first to move forwards, pulling out his seraph blade he runs forward and attacks the two nearest ones, taking them down with minimal effort, the rest of the group moving forwards taking on their own forsaken. Magnus hanging back with a protective spell ready on his finger tips to fire if he should need to, sending the occasional burst of power to any forsaken who seem like they’re getting the upper hand. 

 

The fight doesn’t last long and soon all the Shadowhunters are gathered back at Magnus’ loft resting up with warm drinks. Isabelle is sitting at the window on the floor, a large comforter wrapped around her shoulders with a hot chocolate held securely in her hands. Jace is sat beside her, but with his back against the window facing her, his own drink of choice is a strong coffee with a shot of cream liqueur. Clary is sat on the couch, her head resting on the armrest and eyes shut in sleep, her tea is long forgotten on the coffee table. Alec had taken to sitting in one of Magnus’ lavish chairs with a hot coffee and Magnus sitting on the armrest beside him drinking his own tea.

It’s while they’re all unwinding from their mission that it happens, the pain blossoming over Alec’s shoulders and back feeling like being burnt from the inside Alec cries out and falls out of the chair, his coffee falling to the floor and the ceramic mug shattering underneath Alec’s palms. His whole body shaking from pain and the transformation taking place on his skin, Alec works his shirt over his head. All the Shadowhunters up from their spots and across the room while Magnus rests his hand on Alec’s now bare shoulder. Staring in awe at the new swirls, no completely covering Alec’s shoulders and shoulder blades in complex swirls with leaves and flowers, leaving only thin strips of skin between the gold. 

It’s another three minutes before Alec finally stands back up, picking the pieces of mug out of his hands wincing. Magnus moves quickly to clean his hands with magic and gentle touches.  

“I think, it’s time we visit the silent brothers.” Alec mumbles looking over  his shoulder at the rest of his family. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooooow, so it's been awhile and for that I apologize. I can't promise anything about a new update, but please enjoy!!!


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